Misery and Majesty

Misery and Majesty: Walking Through the First Stages of a Breakup or Loss

The shock and heartbreak of loss is universal, but the way it hits each of us is deeply personal. When my own world fell apart, it felt like I was wandering through fog-lost, raw, and unsure of what came next. Years later, as I look back from a place of peace and joy, I want to share how I moved from misery to majesty-and how you can, too, even if you’re walking this road solo.

Do No Harm-To Yourself or Others

In the early days, it’s tempting to fill the void of loneliness with anyone willing to listen or distract. But I learned that reaching out too soon can pull us into patterns that don’t serve our healing. Give yourself space. You don’t need to rush into a new relationship. If you can, seek out a therapist or support professional-someone trained to help you process the weight of your grief.

Move Your Body, Move Your Mind

Physical activity became my anchor. Whether it was a run at dawn or a new fitness class, moving my body helped quiet the ache in my chest and cleared my mind. If the gym isn’t your thing, try hiking, dancing, or even long walks. The goal is to reconnect with yourself and release tension

Set Aside Grief Time

Let yourself feel. I found it helpful to dedicate specific moments in my day to process my emotions-journaling, crying, or just sitting with my thoughts. This kept the waves of sadness from flooding every hour and allowed me to function when I needed to. There’s no timeline for grief; your healing is yours alone, whether it takes months or years.

Rediscover Yourself

Breakups can leave us feeling like we’ve lost part of our identity. This is your chance to reconnect with what makes you, you. Try new hobbies, revisit old passions, or join a group that sparks your interest. Yes, it’s scary to walk into a room where you know no one, but each step builds confidence and opens the door to new joys.

Mindset Shifts: Hunting for Beauty

One of the most powerful tools in my journey was shifting my mindset. After my breakup, negativity crept in-worries about the future, doubts about myself. Inspired by the idea that our mindset colors our world, I started a daily ritual: each morning on my drive to work, I’d find one beautiful thing, no matter how small. A sunrise, street art, baby ducks hanging out in a gas station parking lot. For me being a photography buff, I took a quick photo. This daily practice rewired my brain to notice goodness, even on the hardest days. Over time, it became a lifeline, turning survival into gratitude.

Embrace the Fullness of Your Experience

Don’t mistake this for toxic positivity. It’s not about ignoring pain or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about allowing space for both heartbreak and hope. Grieve deeply, but also give yourself permission to seek out moments of wonder and joy.

Practical Tips for Singles on the Path to Healing

• Make a list of activities that bring you joy and start weaving them into your routine.

• Spend time with friends and family who uplift you, but don’t be afraid to enjoy your own company.

• Set personal goals-fitness, career, creative pursuits-that have nothing to do with dating.

• Practice mindfulness or meditation to stay grounded in the present.

• Reflect on what you’ve learned from past relationships, not to assign blame, but to grow.

• When you’re ready, ease back into dating at your own pace, with clear boundaries and honesty about where you are emotionally.

  
  

You Are Not Alone

If you’re reading this in the thick of heartbreak, know that the journey isn’t linear. There will be setbacks, floods of emotion, and days when you wonder if you’ll ever feel whole again. But with time, intention, and self-compassion, you’ll find yourself standing atop the rubble-arms open, heart grateful, and ready for whatever comes next.

The misery and the majesty are both part of what makes us beautifully, fiercely human.