
What to Do When You’re Not Interested
By Elizabeth Marshall
Let's face it—dating can be a rollercoaster. One moment you're up, the next, you're down, and sometimes, you just want to get off the ride. But what happens when you're the one who's not interested? Do you ghost, fib, or tell the harsh truth? My guess is you'd prefer the truth if the roles were reversed. Sure, it stings a bit, but it's the only way to know that someone isn't your perfect match, allowing you to move on and find the right person.
While we crave honesty, being on the other side of the equation—turning someone down—can be awkward. It's tempting to dodge discomfort and avoid disappointing someone, but honesty is still the best policy. Sugar Coating or evading the truth can lead to confusion and ambiguity. Remember, they can handle the truth, and it empowers them to move forward in their own journey. So, approach your next letdown directly and thoughtfully.
~Giving a Firm No While Being Gracious~
It's important to be polite, clear, and unapologetic about your lack of interest. Here's a simple format:
~Acknowledge Their Interest:
"I'm flattered that you asked me out."
"I've enjoyed chatting with you."
~Give a Clear No:
"However, I am not interested in going out."
"I'm not interested in pursuing this any further."
~Offer Closure Thoughtfully:
"I appreciate your bold gesture and thank you for understanding."
"I wish you the best in your search."
~Creating Clear Boundaries and Being Assertive~
If the person persists or doesn’t take no for an answer, assertiveness is key. Make it clear that you're not interested and that continued requests are inappropriate. If the situation escalates, don’t hesitate to block or report them.
You might say:
"You’ve already asked me out, and I was clear that I’m not interested. Please respect my decision."
~In Need of More Support?~
Dating, creating boundaries, and knowing when and who to date can be challenging. We all come with our own set of values, strengths, and areas In need of growth. If you're struggling in the dating world, consider seeking support from a therapist, trusted friends, or a WhoU consultation. Reach out today for a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if our services meet your needs.
Remember, honesty isn’t just the best policy—it’s the only policy. And hey, who knows? The next ride on the dating rollercoaster might just be the one that leads you to the perfect match!